STAY AT HOME MUM VS WORKING MUM – WHO MAKES A BETTER MUM?
Who is a mum?
A mum is a woman who gives birth to a child and takes full responsibility for nourishing and educating the child until adulthood. She also can be said to be a woman who is capable of providing the child’s critical needs which may include (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.) and willing to endure the costs and challenges and all that it takes to be an ideal mum.
Nurture – A Child’s Critical Need; the Mum’s Paramount Duty
Nurturing a child means to feed, promote growth, maintain, support, encourage, cherish, and comfort the child. It is to educate, instruct, train, and bring up a child with tender care.
The duties or responsibilities mentioned above cannot perform themselves. It takes a lot to satisfy these obligations in the life of a child, as a mum. And these are delicate duties that should not be taken for granted or casually assign to someone who is not properly trained.
Almost every woman wants to be a mum, but does every woman understand the intricate duties and obligations of such a role? Being a mum is making sacrifices for the well-being of your young ones. It is very tough and demanding, yet, exciting and very fulfilling.
Time, dedication, energy, and patience
It requires time, dedication, energy, and patience to be able to adequately nurture a child from birth until adulthood. For example:
It takes time to ascertain what food goes down well with a baby as she starts eating.
Also, it takes time to monitor and observe some subtle errors in a child’s life as he develops and grows.
It requires dedication in finding the solutions and patience in correcting the errors.
Also, it takes patience to encourage or inspire a seemingly dull child and it requires time and dedication to boost him into smartness.
It takes energy and patience to help a habitually unsettled child to concentrate and focus, especially in his or her interaction with people, school works, and general development.
Also, it takes patience and dedication to care for, cherish, and comfort a physically impaired child.
It takes time, dedication, and energy to teach a child morals and it takes patience to continue until it is imbued in the child.
A conversant mum – a better mum
Aside from providing and protecting your children, another important role for you is meeting their emotional needs. (Children, from birth, are inquisitive. As they grow and develop in this intriguing world, they would be apt to ask questions. They would love to seek information, experience, and most importantly they would want to explore.)
This developing awareness plays a major role in the children’s emotions. So, close monitoring, coaching, and guidance are indispensable. Also, encouragement, correction, appreciation, discipline, and motivation must be constantly given.
Below are a few ways of being conversant with your children
Interact with your children
One of the most effective ways to accomplish this seeming lofty task is by conversation. Simply put, you, always having to talk with the child. Not shouting, complaining, or frequently recounting all the dos and don’t of life.
It could be fun talking with children, though, distracting sometimes. You might not know how much you would learn chatting with them if you really dedicate your time and energy to their world. I mean their growth and development. You would be amazed at how much you still need to know and understand about life as you always engage in a loving chatter with your children.
Answering their questions
I know when it comes to children and questions; they can throw you off balance. I mean having your children embarrass you with some unexpected deep questions. Some questions you are either not prepared for or do not have an answer to.
After listening with patience and understanding, you must have the wisdom to address each of the issues of the child. Look for ways to always intelligibly answer their seemingly silly questions.
Paying attention to their emotions
Paying attention to children’s emotions is one of the best ways to connect with them. Fortunately, one of the best traits of children is honesty. They don’t pretend and they don’t hesitate to talk or ask questions.
Taking advantage of this childish trait, you can easily understand your child, harness their developing attitudes and characters. You can positively and constantly steer their lives for the better. Give encouragement where needed, appreciation, and admiration where needed, correction or discipline where necessary, the reassurance of unconditional love for the child, and many more. This is what parenting is really about.
The truth is that this kind of commitment takes more than an evening outing or once in a week- bedtime discussion. It requires the dedication and Commitment of a mother to the child. This way, the child most of the time, opens up. The child is able to communicate freely about his or her feelings whether negative or positive. And also ask more questions and engage more in the home and family activities.
Working mum and time
Most mum work full time in an establishment where their strength and energy are thoroughly sapped. These affect the amount and quality of time, dedication, and energy they are able to invest in their children. Thus, might not adequately provide the nurturing the child needs from her per time.
Working mum and energy
As a working mum, when you get home in the evenings, most of the time, you may be exhausted to probe, observe, and study your child’s behaviors and attitudes. It is not as if you do not love or care enough for the child, but you are too tired from the day’s engagement outside the home that you have little or nothing at all left for the children at home. Except for some of the mundane questions like “have you done your homework, what happened today in the school, did you finish your lunch? Etc.
Of course, these are questions that come from a mum who genuinely loves and care for her child. But the problem is that you might not always be emotionally and mentally ready to hear all the details and answers to all the questions you ask them. It is not always easy to listen attentively to someone (including your children) with great patience, care, and compassion as they whine. This is especially when one is exhausted and probably has other pressing issues.
You really care but you do not have the mental, emotional, and as well physical strength to deal with the problem at the moment. You really want to know all that happens in your absence in your baby’s daily activities, all the details. I mean every bit of it.
Working mum bond with her child
You may have heard or listened to some women as they complain about their secret fears concerning their teenage children. The disturbed woman may wonders why her teenage child is more quiet, detached, irate, and picky at meals? Why the child she loves, cares for and provides so much for still feel unwanted, lonely, unappreciated, confused, and unduly stubborn.
Mind you, these feelings are not conscious. In reality, you, as a mum love, care, appreciate and adore your children. It’s just that your absence in their daily activities creates this vacuum that tells them that they can’t trust you.
They have many questions but reluctant to ask you. They hear many things they are confused about. Also, experience things that need clarification from someone they trust and can rely upon. And who is else fits more for such an honorable role than the mum? So your unavailability can affect the bond between you and your child
Work pressure compare to the duty of full-time parenting
As a working mother, I believe in your work, especially for your child. You wake early, rushes to the office; deals with a difficult and demanding boss, jealous and competitive colleagues. You deal with the pressure of work deadlines, threats, and fear of losing the job. Probably, you Lead a productive team, manage an organization, or build a conglomerate.
You might just sit down and thoroughly think and compare the work of proper and dedicated parenting to the above-mentioned duties as a working-class mum. Loving and caring, training, and helping your children grow and develop through stages of life Is also Dignifying and satisfying. Seeing them grow physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy could be thrilling. Watching them develop into loving and confident, successful, mature, and responsible individuals is indeed a great reward of motherhood.
You can employ a nanny
If, as a mum, you are not ready to make the sacrifice of your time for your children, then employing a nanny is inevitable. But you must understand that no maid is in a better place to take proper care of your especially, tender and young children. You may as well; devise ways to work around her to ensure harmony in your home. And better cooperation and the entire wellbeing of your children while you are at work.
Advantages of a stay-at-home mum
Catching thrilling moments with your child
Think about catching those thrilling moments when your baby tries to crawl, or when he takes his first faltering step to walk. The baby spreads his little hands, lifts that leg for the first time, and then falls after trying to take the second step. Wouldn’t you have preferred to be the one who cheers and lifts him?
How about the first time your baby girl’s tooth falls off; wouldn’t you appreciate being the one she runs to reporting with excitement and bewilderment. Holding a child whose first tooth just fell off is as important as dressing her in a designer fashion.
Being there for a vulnerable, pubescent daughter
Guiding and paying attention with great care to an adolescent daughter as she goes through her first menstrual circle is as significant as pleasing an impossible boss.
Showing up in your child’s outside activities
Being present in your child’s school PTA meetings and some church or other social activities where the parents of the child are required to be present is also dignifying.
THINGS TO CONSIDER AS AN IDEAL MUM
There are part-time jobs that you as a mum can do If you so wish. This can give you ample time you need for your children and home, though, the pay might not be big enough.
Operating a personal business
You can also consider owning and operating a business. This can always enable you to conveniently and comfortably take your children along to your business place. You can, as well, have time to run your home as you desire.
Some challenges of a stay-at-home mum
Money – inadequate income; what the man brings might not be enough.
Loss of opportunities– a full-time mum is usually at the risk of missing opportunities for work, especially if she is career or business-oriented.
Low living standard – a mum might not have the luxury she may desire due to low income from part-time jobs or the business she operates
Public opinions and pressure – well, for some women who care so much about what other people think or say about them, being a full-time mum might be challenging to them as working could be wrongly equated to class.
As a mum, it is entirely risky to leave the well-being of your precious children to someone else in the name of a nanny or maid. You may as well consider so many reports and stories of child abuse from nannies and maids. And have you taken time to wonder why some maids abuse and maltreat the children they are supposed to protect and take care of? Well, the striking answer is ‘jealousy’ or you can call it revenge.
This is the key to this whole matter; it is a personal choice every mum can make. But I believe that the home is where it all starts and grows. The home is the base of operation and foundation. If it is right at home, it would most likely be right everywhere else. As a woman, you can work as a leading team member, manager of an organization, a billion-dollar entrepreneur, or anywhere you deem fit when your children had grown to the stage of taking care of themselves without the help of a maid. So I believe that waiting for the children to come of age before going to full-time work is ideal for the mum. You would even work better with more proficiency, efficiency, knowledge, and patience because you have already succeeded in the greatest work ever- bringing up your children and managing your home. Hence, succeeding in any other endeavor is almost predictable.
If you can, give up the pressure of working full-time for the time being. Pay the sacrifice for the future of your young children. You can plan with your spouse; try to live on a budget. Someone must make a sacrifice, after all, that is what being a mum is all about – ‘sacrifices’.
As a mum, the decision of being present in your little one’s day-to-day lives and activities is the greatest priority because they need you most at the young age of their lives.
I think it’s important that you maximize the time with your loving children. The joy of knowing that you are investing in and raising a child into a brilliant, healthy, and responsible adult, who will in turn care for you, especially in your old age, take responsibilities and contribute to society in your pride and honor is next to nothing.
Stay at home mum vs working mum – who makes a better mum? Also, stay at home mum vs working mum – who makes a better mum? Stay at home mum vs working mum – who makes a better mum? Also, stay at home mum vs working mum – who makes a better mum?
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